Coronavirus / Covid-19 notifications could not be activated: FAILED_SERVICE_DISABLED

Got a new phone and wanted to set up a local Coronavirus / Covid-19 exposure app but it just can’t be turned on? The solutions are simple: either wait a few hours for everything to update, or wait a few years, for developers to make usable error codes. Grr I installed SwissCovid on a new Android phone and tried to activate proximity tracing. It threw a useless error message with: